Are we really doing this again?

So much to say, yet my fingers are frozen, my brain is quiet. The title to my first post frightens me now that it is in print. But, yes, we ARE doing this again. I am pregnant.

I trust God, therefore, I need no other guarentee. And that is good, because no one else is giving me a guarantee of anything. A guarantee that this time will be normal, a guarantee that this time will be easier, a guarantee that I will get my dream this time. And that dream is for a healthy baby.

After taking the pregnacy test this morning, I quietly sat on the edge of the bathtub trying to be patient. Wondering if it was going to again show negative, like it had 2 times in the past 4 days. Do you think I am impatient? I cautiously look at the results to find out the window shows "pregnant." With the two previous pregnancies, I was immediately excited. Immediately wanted to tell everyone. But this time was different. I was shaking. I was thankful, oh so thankful to my God who has listened to my prayers for the last 8 months. I have not wanted a baby as bad as I wanted this one. Yes, that's right, I "thought" I was ready for another baby 8 months ago. But like I have named this blog, God knows the plans He has for me. And in hinesight, He was right. I needed that time to draw close to Him and to grieve for Noah. But here I am, finally pregnant again. Excited beyond belief and scared to death. But I will allow the words of God to lead me, "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I must trust that God has plans for me, and plans for our baby. So here we go....