Alyssa's Prayer

"...Thank you God for the baby in mommy's tummy.
Thank you God for the baby to pop out.
Thank you God for the car seat to buckle the baby so he does not fall out of the door and get hit by a car...."

We have been praying with Alyssa everynight for the baby. It is so sweet to hear her own words to God. I told her one day that when the baby is born (or pops out) he/she will sit next to her in the car in their own car seat. I guess she took it from there.

As for me, things are fine. I have 2 weeks before my next appointment. The first few weeks were "easy", I guess I was just excited for the baby. I think now, the fear, the anticipation, the unknown is starting to creep in on me. Wondering if I am eating enough of this? Should I not be eating this? Does everything feel right? We still have not seen the obvious "baby" on the ultrasound, so I am anxious just to see that. That will give me a little reassurance that things are on track. More after my appointment...

Back to my Doctor

After the previous post, I have had a few people saying, "Good - I think it is good to go high risk". Well the news is that I am going back to Dr. G. Not by choice really. I spoke with the nurse of the HRD and in so many words she told me that they could not take patients who were not really "high-risk". She only saw patients one half-day a week, and couldn't take up other "real" patients' time with caring for me. Okay, maybe that is not exactly how it was worded, but that is how it felt. Because I voiced a concern about delivering in the Med Center, I was given the option of seeing a Generalist in the Med Center. Basically, Dr. Joe Schmoe, or his/her resident. I wouldn't get the care throughout the pregnancy that I want, but I would deliver in the Med Center. So, I weighed this decision for the last few days. And the care and concern that I receive over the next 7 months is more important to me than where I deliver. Plus, I really have to believe that God is going to take care of us wherever we are.

So, I will continue with my blood work this week and see Dr. G in 3 weeks. I will probably have an ultrasound at 16 weeks and a consult with the HRD. My doctor does not have the equipment to do high-level ultrasounds, so my nurse suggested we go to the HRD's office for those and then they would have my records on file in case something shows up in the pregnancy and I transfer to HR. Bottom line is I will continue to see Dr. G. I will have several ultrasounds leading up to 30 weeks (usually I only had one at 20 weeks). 30-36 weeks I will have ultrasounds every two weeks. Then every week leading up to 38 weeks, where I will then be induced. What these ultrasounds will show, I don't know. But they will look at such things like the health, weight, tone, fluid level, and movements. I think it is important to say, I am comfortable with this decision. I have a post written last week, that I never published, where I voiced my anger, concern and fear of the whole decision. But now, I have received some peace about having to make this decision.

And, I guess the word is getting out. I wasn't really trying to keep it a secret, but I was hesitant at first. But since Alyssa is telling her teachers at church, "Mommy has a baby in her tummy", you have permission to tell others who may care... if you haven't already. The due date will be late September, but hopefully I will deliver mid-September. Man that feels like a lifetime away.

High-risk it is

Today was my second doctor's visit. By date, I am 7 weeks pregnant. Ethan, Alyssa and I watched the ancient screen on Dr. G's ultrasound machine. At 7 weeks there is not alot to see. We saw the sac and an "object". It is hard to explain to a 2 year old, why her baby brother/sister looks like that. I just remind her that the baby has to grow and then it will look like a "baby". And because she is two, she accepts that. The Dr. said he could see signs of the circulatory system forming, looked like a beating heart, but it was not that yet. So for now, things look normal.

We discussed in detail, again, the possibility of transferring to a high-risk doctor (HRD). Bottom line is the choice is mine. I really don't like that. I wanted a professional to decide what is best for the baby. The HRD said she would not do anything different than my doctor, but I would have the access to regular ultrasounds. That is all I need to keep my peace of mind. Though nothing on ultrasound would have showed Noah's condition, regular checks on the baby's progress with ultrasound will make me feel better. We also discussed delivering in the Med Center. My doctor does not have priviledges there, so I would deliver at Oak Bend again. While I do not think the doctors there made any mistakes, I will forever wonder if I had been in the Med Center, with the best doctors, would things have been different. And whatever I do this time around, I do not want to second guess my decisions. Therefore, because I want regular ultrasounds and the Med Center, I am going hi-risk.

It is a hard decision for me, because I have a lot of history with Dr. G. Good history. He and his staff took great care of me through both pregnancies, and he cared about what happened to Noah. He constantly called to be updated on Noah's progress while at TX Children's. He has sat and listened and answered my tough questions on more than one occasion. He is a great doctor. And because I know him that well, I want him to walk me through this again. But I will settle for having to bring our healthy baby to his office in September and having the standard Dr. G holding the baby picture.

I will set up an appointment with the HRD and we will begin our journey.